The K.P. Perspective - Blog

An ongoing series of personal entries about a young Mom trying to raise her kids honestly in a world that is forever changing. 

My First Blog Entry

April 26, 2018 

Welcome to my very first blog post. Every one I know has always made the suggestion that I need to start a blog, but one question always remained for me... What on earth could I possibly talk about consistently and proactively that would not only keep me interested, but also keep me passionately involved in writing week after week? 

BOOM... Family. 

Just like that, out of the blue, I could not resist the urge. As you can see for yourself through out my website, I have many talents and abilities to keep me busy. However there is no job, no life, no love greater for me than my children. So in the whim of a moment, here I am starting my blog, being truthful in the endeavors I face as a parent day after day. 

I need to be raw and honest. Truthful and stern. For if you knew our story already, you would know that life as a parent never started easy for me. It was a journey that started a such a young age, filled with trials and sacrifices that along the way built the woman I am today. Why should I tell you this? Because if you choose to work with me, you should know all of what I am before ever doing business with me. 

I am proud of the woman I am, not only for myself, but for the two people who look up to me and count on me to guide them through life. I am not perfect, I will never claim to be such an unrealistic thing, although life with my kids does not get any better than this. 

See, growing up with my children has given me more insight to life than I ever would have gained on my own. Being a Mom is not only a huge life lesson on patience, acceptance and gratitude, but it is a treasure you cannot say you understand until you experience the years of unconditional love that only your children can awaken you to. 

I will not give a huge amount of detail tonight, after all we do have the whole year to dive into the depths of my life. *I'm saving the juicy parts for later* I will tell you however that there is one job I proudly brag about. One job that I know deep within myself I was meant to do. Like breathing, I know being a Mom was and still is the very best job I am confident 100 per cent of the time in. 

Even on the days when I feel like I am failing, not doing right and not good enough, I look at my amazing children and remember that even the worst days are nothing in comparison to the life I would have had without them. 

So follow with me, week after week. Laugh with me, cry with me, get angry with me and feel the emotions I go through. Maybe you need a friend, maybe you just want to stalk me or maybe you just need someone you can relate too. Whatever your reason is for staying with me, not only do I thank you, but I am honoured to allow you this insight into my personal life of being a Mom. 

Forever grateful, 
Kati Panasiuk

Knowing when to be a parent and when to be a friend

May 9, 2018 

 I always pride myself on the ability that my children and I can talk about pretty much anything. They come to me right away to tell on each other, talk to be about life concerns (because they have so many right now) or even to hear me out while I disgustingly explain puberty in the most blunt way possible. 

Although how do you know when it is time to flip the switch between being a parent and being a friend?

I cannot say I necessarily have the answer to that every time you want to scream at the tops of your lungs, but I do know that sometimes being a parent requires vulnerability even when your parent radar is blinding you with disappointment. 

One thing I learned the hard way is being a mother is all about balance.

Yes, I have rules and boundaries. In fact, I am rather hard on them. I expect them to represent me as much as I live to represent them out in the public eye. When they are out, they know to uphold the highest amount of respect for themselves and others at all times, but that does not excuse the moment when they need me less as a mother and more as a friend. It is my duty to ensure that I am not only laying the law, but that I am encouraging the growth of their self esteem. 

Society has this notion that as a parents you either have to be one of two types. Option A. The one that has all the rules and no fun. Or Option B. The one that has no rules and allows their child to be the hell raiser we all want to punish at the supermarket. 

However, I would not classify myself as either of these two.... Yes, everything will resort back to parenting eventually, but my daughter is becoming a teenager and my son is more in the know than I ever was at his age. They battle me on wits, yet respect me as their guardian and provider. Riding the line between friend and parent quiet well. 

See when they were younger and very dependent, there was no room for being a friend to exist. As they have begun to enter the changing strides of the youth years, their knowledge and ability to understand the world around them grows at a rapid rate, especially with the internet at their disposal.  Demanding they do as I say no longer worked every single time and a realistic approach needed to be made. 

I discovered that letting them in on some of my life experience through the years helped them to relate to me and understand where I was coming from. 

When I disagree with their actions, sometimes punishment is not the answer to resolving the issue at hand. At times it requires the parenting mode to shut off and enable a listening ear to open and absorb their point of view. Whether it's an argument with a friend at school, not wanting to do certain chores or even why the odd emotion consumes them. 

Understanding the person they are coming to be, is about acceptance in all ways. If my child lashes out, I know that deep down something is effecting them more than what is on the surface. If my child is doing poorly at school, I know the issue is not studying, it's the lack of self confidence. And if my child is not waking up with a smile on their face, I know that something has been lingering on their mind for some time. 

It is the talent as an active parent to pay close attention to details, but it is the building of extreme trust to be able to know when it is time to listen and be a friend. 

Forever grateful, 
Kati Panasiuk

Raising children in a society that makes bad behaved kids famous

May 16, 2018 

I will be honest with you, I repeatedly get asked how to raise kids in world that is hell bent on making disrespectful children famous! I know it is not easy when the internet is available to children at almost every location they go to. From the mall to the coffee shop, kids can go just about anywhere and connect the many devices we as parents provide for them. 

There is kids like @Lil'Tay, @Bhadbhabie and many others that seem to be flooding the news feeds of social media in huge amounts of popularity. Society shares and supports the bad behavior and makes them rich and powerful in the lime light. Although I do not criticize these children, (they have made their decisions work for them and gained a lifestyle they desired) but the question remains, how do you raise your kids with fundamentals that will make them strong and loving adults?

The truth is you cannot prevent your kids from viewing things online anymore. If you say no, they will find a way to do it behind your back anyways. If you try to bash what they like, they will in fact behave like the ones they watch. 

Instead I stick to the moral compass of my motherhood. 

1. I make sure my children earn their time online.
 I pay a lot of money to have a good accessed WiFi available in the house and I do work in the media field, so majority of my business is handled online.  Internet is key in my house, so my kids do chores to earn time online. It's a healthy alternative to making sure they understand it's a privilege and not a right. 

2. I make sure they follow the house rules of respect. 

My children know please and thank you's are very much required in life. Just the same as proper dinner etiquette at the table or giving respect to get respect. Making sure they uphold the house rules is critical in maintaining respectful children in and out of the house.

3. I make sure communication is mandatory.

You cannot build a strong foundation of trust if you do not communicate with your children. You must be willing to talk to them and explain the difference between entertainment and reality. It should not be a monthly conversation either. Talk to your kids as often as possible. 

4. I always stay involved. 

Most parents use tablets and phones as babysitters. While they can be a good tool to bring on that long road trip for your kids to watch a movie or two, they should not be depended on to entertain your children day after day. Make sure you are asking your children what they are watching, randomly check their apps and search history to ensure safe browsing at all times. 

The fact of the matter is, the appearance these famous kids take online is not always what it seems to be. I did see @Bhadbhabie pay her mother's mortgage off, which is a good indication that the tough exterior upholds the spotlight while her heart is still pure behind the screens that no one gets to see. Being able to help your kids understand what makes you money and what makes you a good person can be two completely different personas when the spotlight is on. 

The world is a funny place. Things change and people can be famous for all sorts of different reasons, but that does not mean you need to raise disrespectful kids to raise money making adults. Embrace your kids choices in entertainment (within reason) and keep your relationship with them strong. 

I promise you can still raise great kids a society that loves to promote bad behavior. 

Forever grateful, 
Kati Panasiuk